Computers make lousy pets. You might think computers are pretty safe, but in fact, they can be downright nasty. They're hard to housebreak, have a mind of their own and may just bite, burn or trip you when you least expect it. One study estimates over 55,000 were victims of malicious computers from 1994-2006.
The most dangerous computers are those at home; work and school computers are better trained. Best to leave the computer at work and spend your time off outside.
In case your computer attacks you in the middle of the night (or day), here are links to treat the most common computer-related injuries.
The really vicious computers go right for the throat. The little yappie ones that sit on top of your lap are the worst. They can bite, so watch out.
Some computers aren't as vicious, but they can still be mischievious. These guys like to stick out a cord when you least expect it (especially when returning from the kitchen with a sandwich in one hand and a beer in the other). Next thing you know, down you go and break a hip.
This especially rare species is hard to differentiate from a domestic computer, but they are known to jump right off the desk (or table, bed, counter, couch, chair and sometimes lap) to attack feet, knees and toddlers. Occasionally, they can injure bad enough to get stitches.
This isn't really an attack, but some computers have been known to run fevers -- I guess it's a byproduct of getting viruses. It's when they burst into flames that makes me nervous, especially those laptops.
